morning thoughts…

Don’t get cocky kid.

My Amazon.ca order arrived yesterday. I’m glad that it did. I had ordered a few movies: BASQUIAT, CAMILLE CLAUDEL, VINCENT & THEO as well as THE PIANO. We have two watch two of these films for an essay for my Liberal Education CREATIVITY & INNOVATION class at Kwantlen University College.

The other films include: SYLVIA, POLLOCK, EDVARD MUNCH, AMADEUS and SURVIVING PICASSO. The only film I can’t find on DVD right now is SURVIVING PICASSO. So I think I’ll go rent it tonight as our midterm exam is on PICASSO, mainly related to a few readings we have done, but I’d also like to see the film so I have a deeper understanding of the man.

In addition to the above movies, another item arrived yesterday. One that I’m enticed to read: Money Drunk, Money Sober: 90 Days to Financial Freedom by Julia Cameron & Mark Bryan. The book tackles the issue of handling personal finances. Here’s what the backcover and amazon say about the book…

In a society where it is often easier to discuss sex than money, many of us have hidden issues about personal finances. But when fending off bill collectors, begging for salary advances, or borrowing from relatives becomes a way of life, unresolved money problems can lead to enormous stress and destroy relationships, careers, and lives. Do you recognize yourself or someone you love in any of these descriptions?

THE COMPULSIVE SPENDER
Do you buy things and hide them?

THE BIG DEAL CHASER
Do you refuse to watch your money because one big deal is going to make everything all right?

THE MAINTENANCE MONEY DRUNK
Is the pay the only thing you like about your job?

THE POVERTY ADDICT
Do you feel morally superior to people with money?

THE CASH CODEPENDENT
Are you afraid to say no to your partner about money?

Through their highly effective seminars, Mark Bryan and Julia Cameron have helped many people free themselves from the painful cycle of acting out with money. The Money Drunk offers new perspectives on the real roots of money problems, showing how to dismantle negative family and societal programming about money and how to undo the destructive patterns that sabotage your financial success. The program teaches new, more constructive habits to anyone who has ever had a problem with money.

I do have some of the above problems. I buy too much when I know I probably shouldn’t. I’ve cut a lot of debt out of my life, but I could do better when it comes to saving. I’m not horrible with money, but I know I could be a lot better and I think this book will help me a lot as I continue my summer journey of self empowerment.

DIVE.

I took a chance on the weekend, when I had a bit too much to drink. I got the guts to send a message to someone who has caught my eye of late. When you are drunk, you are more honest? Or perhaps the shyness that consumes you sometimes dissipates to some degree.

DIVE DEEPER.

She responded. And it made me smile. But I won’t get to see her for awhile as she is going away for the summer. Smack. But she did say “…look forward to seeing you in the Fall.”

SMILE.

So I’m really glad I got over the hill on that one. REALLY GLAD. I had this nervousness when I saw her response, wondering if I’d get smacked down. But it was a kind, thoughtful and positive response. Sometimes I’m so shy around people I like. Maybe I need to drink a bit more to get over that. Maybe not.

It’s a bright beautiful day outside. I’m looking forward to today. Yesterday, I was a little stressed. The cheque I had deposited last week on a cash advance to buy equipment for the KSA had not cleared. But today, it has cleared! So I will be going to purchase a BBQ, and other items for the KSA. Then, I’ll have to put that thing together. My Mom wanted help with some shopping, and I was stressed last night because I have a few things to do. But I think I’ll offer to take her up this morning, in an hour or so (depending on how long she needs). I figure if I’m on the road by 2pm, I’ll be ok. I can go get the BBQ and put it together this afternoon and into the early evening.

So life is good. Life is GREAT.

I attended yesterday a Education Council retreat. I’ll write a report on that later today (well maybe within the next 15 minutes).

I have to get some reading done in the morning too. Lots to do!

It never ends.

Life goes on.

It never ends.

Life.

Something else has bothered me lately and I think I effectively dealt with it last night. A motion was moved a few weeks ago at our executive board meeting – in jest – but in response to the problems I had hearing in my left ear following my trip to Ottawa (my ear didn’t “pop” from the time I landed in late May until the other day. I couldn’t hear at all out of the left ear and for 2 weeks I was in a lot of severe pain because of it. Then, the pain went away but I still couldn’t hear). The motion directed me to purchase and use q-tips and to report back on it at the next meeting. I was a bit angered by the motion, as I felt it made light of something that I didn’t find to be funny. I didn’t make this problem up. I did miss my office hours my first week back from Ottawa – I was dizzy and disoriented because of the pain. I did go to a walk in clinic, but there was nothing they could do – I just had to wait until it “popped.” The problem wasn’t related to cleanliness or a lack of hygiene. In fact, I’m a bit of a germ-a-phobe, and I keep things clean. And I didn’t make up the problem as an excuse to miss work. I have been ill a lot over the last year, but not by choice (a lot of that has been related to my lifestyle, lack of exercise and how I eat too much junk). But to be honest, being essentially deaf in my left ear scared the hell out of me. It was so disorienting and scary. I remember being in a store, looking at some books, and someone beside me was also looking – taking a book off of the shelf, flipping through it and returning it to the shelve. The store was not busy, so normally, you would be able to hear the sounds related to those actions that you could see with your peripheral vision. But I couldn’t hear anything – I could see – but could not hear. I can’t imagine how awful it must be for those who have permanent hearing damage – I hope no one ever has to go through that. When you loose one of your senses, like hearing, it really reminds you just how small and fragile we humans really are. I don’t think I’ll take that kind of thing for granted again. So I expressed these thoughts to my fellow executive via an e-mail last night and asked that they rescind the motion at our next meeting. We all do things in jest (I know I do a lot in jest), but sometimes there are boundaries – or even if you think there are not boundaries, if you feel hurt by something, you shouldn’t be afraid to express that discomfort.

Anyway, time to get on with the day!

– Steve

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